Chestnut Drive Church of Christ

Here’s one for the history books – do you remember back in the 70′s (last century, even) when media figures were trying to teach young people to “Just Say No”? Everywhere we turned, schools, shopping centers, T.V., we saw or heard the phrase “Just Say No.” I was in high school in Covington, Tennessee and I remember cruising the square (if you don’t know what that means, then I guess you had to be there) and there was that banner or sign in front of a store, “Just Say No!” It was an effort to keep kids off drugs. It was an effort to help kids overcome peer pressure to do things that are wrong or harmful. I don’t know how successful the effort was nationwide, but from what I can tell, it wasn’t working in Covington. It was a valiant effort, no doubt, but when I was in school drugs were as available as french-fries from McDonalds. The cliché “everybody’s doing it” was not far from wrong. I am, of course, out of that school environment and have been for … well I won’t tell you that because then you’ll think I’m old. Maybe it’s because I am out of that environment that I don’t see it, but it seems to me that the appeal of drugs has lost its edge. I’m not so naive as to think it’s not there, but it doesn’t seem as prevalent. That is a good thing if indeed it is the case.
Peer pressure, of course, is not new. We talk about it a lot. In fact, if you go to a church sponsored youth event that involves a speaker, you’re going to hear about it. It seems the kids are almost bored from hearing about it. Most kids want to believe that they are above peer pressure. They don’t want to see themselves as not being in control. That’s one of the great dangers of peer pressure; no one thinks they are susceptible. The fact remains, however, that everybody is – and it’s not just young people.
In Proverbs 1:10-19, Solomon wants to guard his son against peer pressure. Solomon warns his son against the enticement of sinners to be involved in sinful, even criminal, activity. When is the last time someone was pressured to do something good or godly? When we are pressured by our peers, it is almost always to do something that feels good, but we don’t want anyone to know about it, especially our parents or the local police station.  In the scenario given by Solomon the fleshly desire is getting “precious possessions” without having to earn or work for them – by taking them from the unsuspecting. With drugs and sex, the pressure from peers is to fulfill an erotic desire in an irresponsible and ungodly way. Solomon says, “Just say no.” In verse 10 he says, “Do not consent.” In verse 15 he says, “Do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path.”
Solomon tries to reason with his son. He tells him that, while the promises and dreams of the sinners look wonderful, their end is the way of death. It is always the case that, when kids (or anybody) are pressured into doing something, they aren’t told or don’t see the consequences. There’s a disconnect somewhere that doesn’t allow them to see where this is going. Maybe it is just that young people are in such a hurry to live life that they don’t take time to think about it. But I don’t like that idea because that takes away my excuse. “Behold your sin will find you out” is more than just a quaint saying or vainly repeated scripture … it is a fact! While we may commit a crime and get away with it – eventually the piper must be paid. Solomon says, “they lie in wait for their own blood, they lurk secretly for their own lives” (Proverbs 1:18).
The difficulty is getting the young person to see that. One thing is for sure, it won’t happen just by saying it once in the middle of a crisis as you are trying to get your young person not to do a certain thing. It must be a regular part of their discipline (training) that they are warned about those consequences. It is a fact of life and science that they need to see in action regularly so that when they need it in their confrontation with Satan, it will be in the forefront of their minds to think, “Wait… I need to think this through.”  If it is only but for a second, maybe that flash of memory will be enough to divert them from a foolish act with disastrous results.  We do not have to look very hard or long to find real life illustrations to show young people the consequences of giving in to peer pressure to do wrong. AIDS victims, alcoholics and their lifestyles, teenage pregnancies, youth detention centers and the like are in abundance and are the proof in the pudding that “crime (sin) doesn’t pay.”
Parents, your responsibility is to do just as Solomon did. We can’t very easily take away a child’s desire to be accepted by peers. We can, however, through example first, and training second, help them see that acceptance is not the highest goal in life, nor is it the healthiest. You may think they are not listening and you may be right. From my experience, however, if you will both find some regular unplugged time, they will hear you … they will get it. Those “Just Say NO!” signs, while we didn’t always heed them, we got the message. Set your child down on a regular basis and tell him/her in as many ways as you can, “My son [daughter], hear the instruction of your father [mother], … if sinners entice you, do not consent.” If you are successful in planting the seed, you will have saved your child from death.

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse”—
my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
for their feet run to evil,
and they make haste to shed blood.
For in vain is a net spread
in the sight of any bird,
but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
it takes away the life of its possessors.
Proverbs 1:8-19, ESV